So I've been doing some schooling, andÂ if I may say so myself, excelling at it. Yes that's right. I'm doing well. I have masteredÂ a fine art...procrastination. Some may disagree with meÂ and say that it is not a fine art but I insist it is. It takes a lot of skill toÂ *not* do all the things I shouldÂ be doing. To sit on the couch just so. To be able to do so many mindless things on a computer, all the while knowing that there is vacuuming, laundry and errands to do. I firmly believe you must be as talented, if not more so,Â to be able to procrastinate with style,Â than the people who do not.Â
Procrastination can be simultaneously exhausting and fulfilling, pointless and incredibly important. There are times when just the mere act of putting something off, exhausts me more than doing what I should have in the first place, leaving me to wonder why I botheredÂ delaying the inevitable. On the other hand,Â I oftentimes find myself feeling rather fulfilled from having spent a day on the couch reading my book orÂ colouring with my children instead of doing the pile of clothes that isÂ quickly beginning to look rather like the garbage monster from Fraggle Rock. This is also where the pointless vs incredibly important argument comes in.Â It has been said "what is the POINT in putting it off? Why not just get it over with and then go enjoy yourself?". Well, true. Why not do that?Â There are days when that is exactly what I do. But, is it not also as important sometimes to not rush into it, to pace yourself, to put it off until you know that you can give it your fullest attention?Â
My point is, I think over the last 28Â years I have managed to perfect theÂ finest points of this "art".Â For the most part, I know when it is reasonable to put something off for a while, when it is not so important for me to do that pile of laundry right this second so that I can spend time with my kids.Â As a rule, I know when I need to get my butt in gear and go run those errands and pay those bills. But...and yes, there's often a "but"....there are times when I get it wrong. I know, I said I had perfected the art.Â Well, there's always room for improvement right?Â
One of the times that I have gotten it wrong is when it came to my weightloss. I have many theories surrounding this, and I am exploring them all. What I have so far is that since I was 17, I have gotten progressively heavier.Â People have commented on it, and instead of thinking "hey, I should do something about that", I said "screw them, they want to see fat? watch this!" Occasionally I would catch one of those much dreaded glimpses of myself in the mirrors that I so vehemently avoided, and I would be so shocked at what I had turned into that I would start a "diet" and vow to be on track and lose all the weight. This wouldÂ last about 2 weeks to a month and I'd cave and buy a bag of chips. MMMMMmmmm.Â Prime example of theÂ art I've been mastering I think?
I cannot continue to put this off. As of New Years, I haveÂ gone from 353 pounds to 337. Regular gym trips, better eating and, I think, a better attitude towards all thisÂ has certainly helped. Looking back at baby pictures of my kids, looking at the people they've become now, andÂ dreaming about the people they will grow into....THAT is what has helped the most. I do not want to be another statistic that you hear Dr. Oz talking about when he appears on Oprah. "15 out of 20 women aged 30 to 40 die of.........brought about by their weight". I want to watch my daughter walk down the aisle, watch my son acheive his dreams. I want to live a long healthy life with my gorgeous husband and be a wife he can be proud of.
No more procrastination when it comes to my weight. I can do this.
I waltzed my way into Weight Watchers this week expecting to see the numbers fluctuate in some way, probably to my detriment, but I got lucky. I didn't lose any weight, but nor did I gain any.Â I held steady at 337. Not great, but not horrible.Â
And now, I am off to check on the pile of clothes in the laundry room to make sure it isn't moving on it's own, and then I'm going to play mindless games on here while thinking of all the errands I will NOT be running tomorrow.