Thursday, February 7, 2008

Shopping List

I have a PAC meeting coming up next week at Ashlee's school. (That's PTA to all your American folks out there. Parent's Advisory Council.) In preparation for said meeting, I thought it only prudent to put together a shopping list. Think of it as a preventative measure, if you will.

What am I trying to prevent? Ahhhh...well. My darling friend Corey would tell you that I "need everyone to love me". This is not actually the case, it's more along the line of wanting to feel helpful and busy and productive. Somehow, this translates into me volunteering for everything that is mentioned within ear shot of me. So, in an attempt to stave of this apparent addiction to helpfulness, the aforementioned shopping list was prepared.

1) Rope - my thinking is that if I tie my hands together, behind my back, and then tie my hands to whatever chair I happen to be sitting on, that I will not be able to wave my hand back and forth frantically in an effort to make myself seen through the throng of at least 9 people.

2) Duct Tape - tying my hands is all well and good but really, if I can still speak and say "Why don't I do it, I have nothing better to do?" then what is the point. So some good old fashioned duct tape is in order. I figure maybe I can use the rest of the roll to wax my legs later.....make the ride to hell all that much smoother.

3) Date Book - odd I know, but I'm told that maybe I could purchase someone's old date book with all their appointments written in. In the event that the rope and the duct tape fail me or Monica decides that I'm in dire trouble and saves me, I could flick through the date book and noticed that every date that they need volunteers for is fully booked. How social I am! How happy I am to be so in demand! How incredibly UNavailable I am for ALL events that require volunteers!

I'm sure there's more but that should do for now.

Don't get me wrong, I *love* helping out at Ashlee's school, and her Sparks unit - it makes me happy, and by extension makes my beautiful girl happy. At this precise moment in time, I am also talking on the phone to another mother from the school while trying to organise an auction. I'm pretty sure my head it going to explode soon.



Does this all look good on my non existant resume? Will it help me get into the peaceful gardens of the afterlife (whatever and wherever they may be)?

Ah who cares? It gives me something to do for awhile.

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