Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Over Consumption at its Best

Of all of the over-commercialized holidays that we are subjected to these days, Easter was just the most recent to hit us smack dab in the middle of the forehead. No sooner had Christmas ended than we were seeing merchandise for Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day and Easter flooding the shelves. At the same time!

Did this observation of mine stop me and my family from indulging in the latest gorge fest? Hell No!!

Having stocked up on exorbitant amounts of mini, foil wrapped chocolate eggs and purchased a couple of solid chocolate rabbits for the kids, Easter was under way. The 2 weeks leading up to Easter were filled with idle threats of making phone calls to the Bunny himself, informing him of the heinous behaviour taking place in our home. The same thing happens at Christmas, with Hotty Hubby and I taking turns using the big fat man as a tool to scare our spawn into submission. Sadly, I think the elder of the two is slowly catching on and merely looks at us while thinking to herself that she surely has the two stupidest parents on the face of the earth. I suppose she's probably right. Why else would Hotty Hubby and I stay up til almost 2am on the night before these big days wrapping presents and hiding Easter Eggs?

Eggs hidden, chocolate rabbits vetted for no breaks in the wrappers, and we collapse into bed for a short few hours of sleep. As the sun rose and the sound of rain pelting our windows intruded on our sleep, I opened my eyes to find the eldest hellion a mere inches from my face just staring at me. Silent. This is becoming a bit of an annoying habit of hers that I seem to be at somewhat of a loss to break. I mean, it's just plain creepy. A quick growl and threat of no chocolate for life, and she disappears back to her room to play Hannah Montana at full volume. You have no idea how fantastic that is in the early morning.

Somewhere around noon, it is decided by someone that we should likely be fulfilling our parental obligations (where is this contract they keep drawing this stuff from) and feed the children. However, all thoughts of boring cereal are put aside as they thunder down the stairs and begin to spot the foil wrapped cavities not so stealthily hidden around the living room.

(I've come to the conclusion that in order to have a full blown, effective, and headache inducing easter egg hunt you must live in a house considerably bigger than ours. )

I'm sure that many of you can imagine what H.H and I were subjected to for the rest of the day after each child consumed an 8 inch solid chocolate rabbit in record time. Sugar high --> hyperness --> sugar crash --> crankiness times 100.

By the time midnight rolled around, we were far too tired to even contemplating spooning. Perhaps a better use for the spoon would have been to dig our eyes out, but we were too tired for even that.

Since then, we have all been consuming crazy amounts of sugar and enjoying every minute of it. I'm sure it does nothing for my adventures in weightloss, but I have to give the Bunny his due - he gives us a perfect excuse to gorge ourselves.

Now if I could just figure out where to find more will power to combat this new addiction, we'd be set.

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