Monday, May 5, 2008

Bob the Gorilla needs more to do

I climbed a mountain today. Not only did I climb it, but I reached the top and then dug away at it til it was gone. No more mountain. Take that Sir Edmund Hillary.

Of course, when I say mountain, I am of course talking about Laundry Mountain. There are many mountains in this range but my house is built around just one. The size of this changes from day to day, and often from hour to hour, but it never ceases to amaze me how insurmountable the task of conquering it seems.

I think that my neighbours are sneaking into my house in the middle of the night and piling clothes in my laundry room, dirty dishes on my kitchen counters and papers on every other available surface. There really can't be any other explanation. The spawn are little neat freaks whose rooms are never out of order, Hotty Hubby has never been known to leave his socks and underwear on the floor and me, well I am like the not so famous version of Martha Stewart. I just cannot figure out how they are getting into the house.

As I ran my 10th load of clothes through the machine (yes yes, it's been that long since I did any laundry), I had yet another load in the dryer doing it's second round. There seems to be some sort of issue with the heating element (??) and it takes 2 hours to dry one load of clothes. Bloody ridiculous if you ask me but at least it gives the gorilla that lives in my laundry room something to do.

My goal today, given how much I adore goals and the impossibility of meeting them, was to get my entire house clean. For any normal person, this might be achievable. For me? Far too many distractions. But I did my best. I even decided that for extra motivation, I would challenge a friend to a house cleaning race. This would have been fantastic if the traitorous wretch she hadn't thrown me under the Molly Maid bus given up. Really Alison? One kitchen and you think you're done cleaning. Ha! I laugh in the face of your intelligence.

I honestly had no idea how much dust one cat could create. I have come to the conclusion that the basis of all my home cleanliness problems boils down to this furry little creature and the two rugrats. Cat hair everywhere, it took me 30 minutes to clean CJ's room. The rest of the house looks significantly better, but I really do wish I'd been as smart as my buddy and given up after the kitchen.

I think either I need to give my laundry loving gorilla something more to do, or I need to hire a cleaning lady. Either way works for me.

Anyone want to come keep my house clean for me so I can sit on my ass be productive in other ways?

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