Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Clean Up Stage Left!!

Whence spring these inclinations, rank and strong?
And harming no one, wherefore call them wrong?


Those are the words of an anonymous author from 1833. It was written in defence of one Captain Nicholas Nicholls who was sentenced to death by hanging. His crime? Sodomy. He was gay. In the society that I like to associate with, this is not a big deal. But back then, it clearly was.

Over the last 150 plus years, the LGBT movements have come to the forefront of politics, social mindedness and water cooler discussions in a big way. 11 years ago, Ellen DeGeneres "came out" to the world as a whole on Oprah. Later, her character on the show Ellen did the same thing. From there on out ratings slid and the show was later cancelled. She went back to doing stand up and has since gotten herself a great talk show. She's hilarious, she's a great entertainer, and she's gay. Big deal right?

Wrong. The other day, the California Supreme Court overturned a previous ban in the state and announced that henceforth, gay marriage was A-OK. This has sparked almost as much discussion in the media as the election and the war.

After the Supreme Court announced their decision, Ellen used her show as a medium for an announcement of her own. She was getting married....to Portia De Rossi.

Cue the media storm! Holy Shitballs...did she say she was marrying a chick? What IS the world coming to? In a recent article in Gaywired, one Wendy Wright was quoted comparing the marriage of Ellen to her lesbian partner to the shit storm that has become the polygamist compound in Texas.


“We need to look at the consequences of that and we can look at the polygamy community in Texas. There are consequences. When you redefine marriage to mean anything it can mean nothing. Once you start breaking down and claim that marriage can be something other than between one man and one woman, you do open the doors to it being anything.”


Seriously lady??! First of all.....who was it that decided that marriage could ONLY be between man and woman? Second....how is this anything like the dudes shacking up with multiple women in Texas?

As if this wasn't bad enough, Greg Gutfeld from Fox commented that Ellen announcing her plans on her show was akin to "having a bowel movement on air". When I read that, I just about peed my pants with laughter. And then I flashed to an episode of Oprah with Tom "Scientology Rules" Cruise jumping all over the couches. I'd say that was closer to a bowel movement on air than anything.

If Ellen wants to marry a chick, let her. If she wants to announce it on HER show, let her. If one of my dear friends announced she was marrying her girlfriend, I'd be jumping for joy. She's happy. Shouldn't that be all that counts?

How does Ellen marrying a woman, or ANY same sex couple getting married affect YOUR marriage in any way, shape or form? Does the mere act of them getting married and then *eep* having sex mean that you now need to take some extra credit courses at the local community college to brush up on how best to perform the mundane missionary sex that you're used to? Ahhh....maybe you're pissed off that someone is getting better sex, better conversation, and better SHOES than you are.

You know what? SUCK IT UP!!

Ellen....(not that you would EVER read my blog)....I jumped around my kitchen doing a happy dance when I saw you announce your engagement to Portia. I seriously had tears of joy in my eyes.

Wendy Wright.....Fark Off.
Greg Gutfeld.....yeah...same to you buddy.

Straight, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered.....what do ALL of these have in common?? Yeah...we're all human. All the same species, all living on the same planet (physically anyway). Deal with it.

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