Friday, January 1, 2010

A decade gone, A new one to come

As we got closer and closer to the new year, I was starting to panic a bit about what I could write for my first post of the new decade. It's been almost two years since I started this here blog. Two years ago I had one million followers. Today, I have...um....more. And I'm thankful for all of you. Which is why I'm going to spare you the list of resolutions that never changes from year to year. I was going to do the meme that Aunt Becky did, but couldn't figure out how to answer any of the questions. Lame, I know.


Instead, I give you a decade in review. And I might throw in a few goals at the end. Goals, mind you, not resolutions.

~*~*~*~

In the year 2000 (am I the only one who hears Conan right now? You know, like THIS video? I probably am) I was a capricious young woman living in Auckland, NZ and dating a guy that drove a Porsche. A cherry red Porsche. It was beautiful and it drove like a dream. I thought I was the shit every time I sat in that car. And I totally was. Except for one thing. The guy who owned the car? 8 years my senior and still living in his mommy's basement, getting her to cook his meals and do his laundry. The guy pulled in over 100K every year EASY and yet.....well yeah. Looking back, I realise he wasn't that interesting or attractive. But he drove a freakin' PORSCHE!!

As the year progressed, I moved from living in my boss's basement to living with a friend and, as it turned out, her lazy ass boyfriend who liked to abuse my cat and not pay any bills. Fun times people!

I spent Christmas that year getting drunk and playing strip poker with a tall, gorgeous guy named Matt who happened to wander into the pet store I worked in.

**

By the time 2001 rolled around and had proved to NOT be the Space Odyssey we'd all been promised, we'd all realised how ludicrous we looked the previous year, stocking up on everything in sight in case the world should come to an explosive and technology provoked end.

For my part, I had somehow reached the conclusion that I was decidedly unhappy living in Auckland with my family down in another part of the country. Instead of moving down to be nearer to them, I hightailed it back to my country of origin...Canada. I arrived in February and lived with my dad. By the end of July I had met the man who would eventually be my husband and a week later he moved in with me.

By October we were engaged. By mid-November I was pregnant - oops!. In December we disappointed his family and told them both things. Merry Christmas future in laws! No, I swear I'm not a whore!

**

2002 saw me marrying the man of my heart. I was 8 months pregnant and you could almost hear the chk-chk of the shotgun. I looked like a hippo in a sundress and he looked...well ... 12.


A month later, at 23 years old, I became the mother to a beautiful baby girl. I felt like the luckiest woman on the face of the Earth. She was cute (for a wrinkly, screaming, pink bundle), she was healthy and she was MINE.


**

In 2003, I was enjoying being a stay at home mom, and was yearning for another baby. I always wanted 4 or 5 kids, but Hotty Hubby was content to just have none two. By mid-November I found out I was pregnant. Again. Halloween is good to us!

**

2004 saw the one of the lowest points of the decade for me. Hotty Hubby and I separated. I had somehow convinced myself that there was no return from our few problems and that Girl Spawn and I would be better alone. I felt like I was drowning and that there was no rescue. So we went our separate ways. I refused counselling. So now I was 24, with a toddler, separated from my husband of 18 months, pregnant and without a fucking clue as to what I was doing.

In August, our son was born. All the old feelings came flooding back. Here I was holding another precious soul in my arms. But this time, something was missing. Sure I had my daughter (now 2) and my beautiful baby boy.....but one integral part of my life was missing. And I had finally realised it. Took long enough eh?


We went to counselling. We worked on things. We spent time together and with the kids. We worked it out.

**

February 2005 saw Hotty Hubby's official return. Honestly...that was the best thing about that whole year. So I'm gonna leave it there.

**

In 2006 I went back to school to get a Diploma in Legal Office Administration. In 2007 I graduated and got a job at a law firm. The work was fantastic. The boss? Not so much. I'm pretty sure that's about when I started using the word Asshat with any regularity. (Definition: One who has head so far up ass that one is wearing ass as a hat. Asshat.) So I quit in a fit of "I'm stupid and think I don't need your stinking job when in fact I actually do but I'd never admit that to you so I'm going to walk out and pretend everything's ok". Quite possibly one of the stupidest things I've ever done, but I don't regret it really. There's just so many times you can let someone stand and tell you you're stupid when you know you're not.

**

2008 was another hard year. I lost some people who I thought were good friends, and went through another tough time with HH. He and I came out the other side stronger than ever, but the friendships were gone for good. Looking back, I realise they likely weren't meant to be, but at the time it hurt like hell. The silver lining (because if you look hard enough, there usually is one), is that I met the wonderful woman that I lovingly refer to as Ginger Rug. Not only did she become one of the best friends I have ever had and likely will ever have, but she taught me a lot about myself. Through her, I learned how to love myself, be true to myself, and how to be more present in a more positive way for my family. I will always treasure the friendship that we have, even with all the miles between us now.

It also saw us making the decision to leave Canada and move to New Zealand. While this wasn't as hard a decision for me to make as for hubby, it was still hard. Leaving behind family that I had reconnected with after so many years away and leaving my friends who had become very dear to me....and hubby leaving friends and family...it was all tough. But we thought it was a good decision for us and the kids.

**

2009? Whirlwind of preparations for our move and then the eventual move itself. It was sad to say goodbye to everyone but we've settled and we're happy.

I let go of my hate for the man boy coward who hurt me so badly as a girl on the precipice of adulthood. That was an even bigger step for me than deciding to move across the world. And it felt GREAT.

**

There's been a lot of ups and downs in the last decade. But we've come out on top. This year saw the 9th New Year's Eve for HH and me. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

So what about the next decade?

Hubby and I will continue the hard work that goes into our marriage. It is bloody hard work sometimes but it's worth it. I love that man and he loves me. Divorce (in the words of Will Smith) is NOT an option. I hope that I never have to eat those words, but right now we both mean it whole heartedly.

I will keep working on a healthier me. I'm not going to churn out the pithy, cliche resolution of years past saying that I am going to lose weight. That isn't it. I want to be healthy. Whether I lose 20, 50 or 100 pounds, HEALTH is my main goal. Physical AND mental.

I will love my children every day. There are many days when I don't like them a whole lot and have considered buying a cage for them, but I love them daily. I will try to support them in their decisions. It scares me to think that by the time we're ringing in 2020, my children will be 17 and 15. But I look forward to it.


Embrace the new, put away the old.

From my family.....


.....to yours - May the next decade be a great one. And may you never find frogs in your underwear.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

27 comments:

  1. This was a wonderful post. Your babies are so beautiful. You're beautiful!

    Here's to 2010!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful post, and I could relate to a lot of it, especially at the end when you talked about caging your children.
    ;-)

    Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  3. this was a very nice reflective post.

    congratulations on your victories and here's to the future!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Um, you both look about 12 to me when you got married. Maybe 9.

    May you never find spiders in your underwear either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is a lovely family photo! Love that tree! WOW!

    Duct tape works well if you don't have cages for the children! :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very nice post. Happy new year. You asked me a qquestion on Twitter through direct msg but I am not able to reply you since u are not following me. Well the answer is :

    Swastika is a scared sign in Hindu religion. I like its design. BTW, I am a peace lover and have nothing to do with 'Nazi' stuff. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post so we (that just met you) could get to know you a bit! Your family is beautiful, hoping for the best for you, and hoping to never find frogs in my underware?

    Feisty

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful post! Finding frogs in one's underwear is a sure sign that something is very amiss with the laundry machines.... Here's to a great 2010 for all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a wonderful post! I may have to copy your premise. (Imitation is a form of flattery, right??)
    And I am glad that you have come out the other side of things well. And yea, that marriage, thing? It's alot of work!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dang. That was one of the best posts I've read in a long time. GOOD JOB. What a great story. I can tell you are a strong womam. You go girl!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cool post Meg, feel like I know you guys so much better now! Definately stopping in for a bottle of vino (or 3) if we ever make it to Blenheim BTW. New design looks great also, yay for fresh starts in 2010!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I loved reading this. Great post.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi, just found you through Dual Mom, I'm joining the Lose it Bitches too so wanted to follow so we could stay in touch!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just saw your tweet about mr.linky
    Did you know there is an alternative tool www.inlinkz.com
    It's so easy to use and works every time!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Such a truly touching and very honest post. I am glad that you and HH are able to work together to find your bliss. I pray that 2010 and this entire decade is filled with love, joy, health, and peace. Hugs to you, Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  16. I absolutely loved that look back. Marriage is incredibly hard work and that's why people get divorced. They don't want to do the work. Some days I totally understand that.

    Great post! Happy New Year!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I can barely remember the past 10 days, much less the past 10 years. Dang, you're good!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Loved the post! It was so awesome to see your ADORABLE babies!

    ReplyDelete
  19. wow, this is brilliant!

    Your life in a nutshell. And what a life!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Wait. What? Why the hell would I find frogs in my underwear? Now you've creeped me out! Thanks Meg!

    ReplyDelete
  21. No frogs in my underwear. Well I'm glad you guys worked through all of your tough times because you really look (and seem) happy together. WHat a cute family shot too!

    Happy New Year. I'm late, I know. Been busy. Jeez.

    ReplyDelete
  22. All I want to know is where I can get one of those "lose it bitch" stickers. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is lovely and I just love happy endings! One important fact about dark experiences that involve those close to us: we learn a hell of a lot! May your next decade be spectacular!

    ReplyDelete

Show me some love people.....you know you want to!