Tuesday, June 1, 2010

8 years and he hasn't killed me.....yet

We were young, HE was skinny and I was 8 months pregnant. My dad had a shotgun pictured in his head and we'd invited 40 of our friends and family to join us at a local park to stand in the blazing hot sun.

I forgot my bouquet at home in my mad rush to look as presentable as possible and my cousins ran around the park illegally picking flowers so that I had something to hold in my hands that might hide some of the massive expanse of belly.

One set of his grandparents were counting down the minutes til we could get to the drinking, the other set counting down the minutes til they could remove themselves from the travesty of their golden boy marrying the slut who had the audacity to get knocked up.

He went a ghostly shade of white, rocked back and forth on his feet and looked like he was going to pass out; I went a pretty shade of red and tried to ignore the baby kicking her feet into my cervix in a way that made me picture David Beckham (and not in a good way).

His best man looked handsome, my maid of honour looked irritated and bored. Turns out we were keeping her from a very important date. Yes. My wedding day and the ho bag had scheduled a date with her current bit of fluff while her husband was out of town with their daughter.

We honoured his mother with a picture of her on the table near us, sad that she wasn't there to share the special day with us - she'd been gone 13 years already. We remember my mother and sister, so far away in another country, unable to share the day with us.

We said our vows, taking out the bit about obeying because really, WTF?

In what seemed like seconds (or was it years?), it was over and we were no longer singles but a Mr & Mrs. We were a pair, a couple, a match. We were now tied to each other and were our own mini family. Soon, we would be three. We signed the book (I'm still trying to figure out who owns my soul now) and went to pose for more pictures.

We looked like we were 12 back then. Young. Innocent (we'll ignore the huge pregnant belly, shall we?). Looking happily to the future.

I didn't get my big white wedding with 15 bridesmaids, an open bar and dancing on the tables to kick ass music pumped out by an average DJ so hopped up on coke that he couldn't tell the difference between Jay-Z and Kanye.

But I did get my husband, my family and my friends all together for one of the most special days of my life.

Eight years on and we're still married. We're still a couple, a twosome, a force to be reckoned with. We've made it past the birth of two children, a year of being separated, "friends" causing trouble, real friends trying to help, multiple house moves and the 7 year itch, and we have yet to throw anything heavy (or at least with any accuracy).

When I think back on the last 8 years, I can think of a few things that might have sent a lesser woman running for the hills:

He snores like a water buffalo
~ Thankfully, I snore like a freight train so we tend to cancel each other out.

He rolls himself up like a cocoon in the blankets at night, leaving me to freeze my ass off on the other side of the bed.
~ I'm not opposed to elbowing him, kicking him or pushing him off the bed and then retrieving the blankets to regain my warmth.

He makes such a smell in the bathroom after work some days that it would make anyone not "in the know" think that something had died in there.
~ He's willing to de-tribble the shower drains for me so that I don't puke everywhere. Which he would also clean up for me, if asked.

He is irritatingly laid back so much of the time that it just makes you want to scream.
~ I'm high strung enough for the two us.

He hates to clean, doesn't like to cook, leaves clothes everywhere and would rather sleep than do anything productive around the house.
~ Same here.

And then I got to thinking about other stuff:

He is the one who keeps me going from day to day.

He is the one I look to in good times and in bad.

He is the one I look forward to spending my life with.

He is the one who makes me feel good about myself - even on my bad days.

He is the one who loves me - even when I am at my most UNloveable.

~ And for ALL of that (and so much more), I love that man.

So, to the love of my life, the man of my dreams and the better half of me.... I wish you a very Happy 8th Anniversary. I look forward to many more of these days and I'm glad I have you in my life. Even if you do snore. And smell.

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  1. Awww, that is just the sweetest thing!

    Except for the maid of honor of course..... lol

  2. Happy Anniversary!
    It's not easy living with men but some are really worth keeping around even if they do smell.

  3. Such a great story. Happy anniversary!

  4. Sweet, sweet post! Happy anniversary!

    (and as I first glanced at the photo of your wedding party, my first thought was how seemingly unhappy your maid of honor looked, so I laughed at your commentary about her!)

  5. Ahhh so cute.

    Wow, what a darlin' that maid of honor is/was!

    Why do men have to smell?!!! haha

  6. Wonderful post! Best wishes for many, many, many more happy years together!

  7. You are both so gorgeous! Happy Anniversary! Where is that red hair???

    It's been a fun ride even if there were a few bumps, huh?

  8. Happy Anniversary!!!

    You two are so cute!

  9. Ahhh - Happy Anniversary! And lovely pictures!

  10. Happy Anniversary!! Marriage is a work in progress!!

  11. awww...Happy Anniversay! Yeah mine smells too. he can clear a room with his gas and giggles like a First Grader when he does. He snores like a bull PLUS he has "jimmy legs" at night. It drives me batty..and to the couch many nights. BUT mine too puts up with my high-maintance, always needing approval a$$ like a trooper. I think I will keep mine too :)

  12. That's so sweet! Happy anniversary!

    Are you still friends with the cheating whore maid of honor?

    And don't worry-- my husband smells and snores, too!

  13. Terrific Meg!~ I'm so happy for you!~ Happy anniversary! From a true romantic at heart! I wish I could write as wonderfully as you!

    I think you summed up marriage perfectly! All the bumps and parties thru life, its all about the one you want to be with!~ Love the pictures too~

  14. FANTASTIC post! So lovely to read. Cheers to both of you for hangin' in there and still going strong!

  15. I LOVE IT!!! Marriage...what a blessing, huh? I kinda like my husband too :)Happy Anniversary, Girl!

  16. So cute together! You know, that picture from the front, the way your dress hangs, you actually don't look all that pregnant.

  17. Happy Anniversary!!!!

    That was just the sweetest thing ever and you guys are precious!!!!

  18. So sweet! Happy Anniversary! The way your described your wedding is hilarious--but hey, I guess it "took", didn't it? :)

    Love that last pic, you both look great! Hottie Hubby looks kinda like Rob Lowe, methinks.

  19. A little late, but Happy Anniversary!

  20. Awww ... sorry I'm late getting over here. Happy anniversary to you! : )

  21. Happy Anniversary! I hope you had a special day!

    I'm working to get caught up on all my blog reading. Sorry my greeting is late.

  22. oh my friend....such a perfect maggie post, funny, irreverent, lovely pictures, introspective and full of spunk and gratitude! Happy Anniversary!

  23. LOL! What a wonderful post! Happy belated anniversary!

    I was cracking up at the pic of your bridesmaid...unbelievable! Ha Ha!

    But who cares, the two (three) that mattered most that day are still happily together! Congratulations!

  24. So many, many days late... but happy anniversary Meglet! I need to figure a way to follow you without having to rely on my faulty memory... :D

    Miss chattering at you on facebook; don't miss facebook though! -Deb


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