If anyone finds out, I will die of embarrassment

It's been awhile since we've heard anything from this awesome gal over here at Casa Mad Woman. I've had this guest post sitting in my inbox for over a month and keep forgetting to schedule it, so I hope she'll forgive me. Let's give a big ol' crazy welcome to Frantic Mommy, the Queen of the Kingdom of TIRED.

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Thank goodness we are way past this stage…but there was a time our family had a secret.

It was our version of a well hid, dark secret.

It was something that hung over my head for years. And if anyone (back then) would have known the truth, I would have died of embarrassment.

The secret? Well, here it is.

When it comes to pacifiers with my kids…I am a big, giant puss-ball.

A wimp.

A total pushover.

The bottom line is, because I was such a wussy-sack-o-crap, both our kids had paci’s wwwaaayyyy too long.

Like, until they were almost 4.

Seriously.

Now do you see why I was embarrassed?

For our son it was his “gucky” and for our daughter it was her “corky”. But to me it was a crutch that I couldn’t seem to help them disengage from. So I didn’t. And the months ticked by.

Looking back now, it sounds so silly, but those “corkies and guckies” weighed our family down. A good friend moved away and repeatedly encouraged our family to come for a visit. I repeatedly declined, too embarrassed to admit that I had a 3+ y.o that still wanted a paci at night.

We suffered through the drama with our son, who gave his up right before his 4 th birthday. After several nights of howling and bawling, I swore I would never do that again. I would be stronger “Next Time.”

But along came our daughter and I managed to make the same mistake all over again.

I remember the day I finally sucked-it-up and decided rid our house of the very last Corky (our daughter’s). I waited until hubs and the 7 year old were out of town. I was pretty sure I couldn’t handle the impending drama with them yappin at me.

And I prepared.

I fretted…..for days.

I lost sleep over it.

I made up this elaborate story to our daughter about how the Corky Fairies were coming to take her Corkies back to their Mommies. I steeled myself for drama.

That morning, I told Princess Sara Boo it “was time” and we left her corkies in a dish on the counter as we left the house for the day. As we walked out, I covertly slipped them into my pocket.

I needed to get them hell OUT of the house. If they were GONE there was no way I could chicken out. There was no going back on this. Period.

As I drove my little one to daycare I plotted the Corky Disposal Plan. Maybe, I could throw them in the daycare lady’s garbage…

…but if she saw them, I would just DIE of embarrassment.

Then I thought I could throw them in the dumpster at a church donation facility that I was dropping off at that day. But when I got there, the workers were already there and if they saw me pitch two pacifiers, I would just DIE of embarrassment.

I finally settled on the dumpster at work. But when I opened it, it was empty. To throw two pacifiers in a bare dumpster might get noticed. And commented on. And if anyone saw, I would just DIE of embarrassment.

Finally I settled on the cardboard recycling dumpster and tucked the last two precious (well worn ) corkies in a box, shut the lid and walked away.

I chuckled as I envisioned (days later) an employee of the Recycling Center sorting boxes, encountering The Corkies and probably thinking “WTF??”

That night, my little Princess never said a peep. Never asked for them. Moved on like a trooper.

Sometimes we do make mountains out of molehills in life.

Did I make a big mistake by letting my kids have their pacis too long?? YUP

I admit it. I could make all sorts of excuses like “at least they didn’t suck their thumb” or “at least everyone slept well”.

Really? Whatever. I know the reality now.

So take this post with a grain of salt and please don’t leave me any long lecturing posts about irresponsible parenting. I am a pretty nice gal, but mean as sh#t when I need to be.

Just know I feel parenthood is about sharing, comparing notes, and maybe even learning from other people’s mistakes.

Go right ahead and learn from mine.

Thanks for listening

Franticmommy