Friday, October 8, 2010

Breaking the habit

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Day 1 -- Day 2 -- Day 3


And we're back for another "30 Days of Me" post. For day 4 I'm meant to tell you all about a habit I wish I didn't have. Oh my lovelies, how I wish you had all day to sit and digest the mile long list of bad habits that I could divulge. I shall try and keep it brief though and just follow the instructions.

So bad habit........I yell too much.

That may not sound like a habit but it seems to have become one over the years. I yell about the silliest things and at the drop of a hat. I'm not talking about just speaking at a loud volume, I'm talking about yelling at my spawnlets when I could just have a talk with them about something.

Example: Boy Spawn knocks over his glass of milk on the table and instead of commenting on how he should be more careful, I go ape shit and yell at him.

Example: Girl Spawn has been asked to tidy up her room, has gotten distracted and is now busy playing with something in the living room. Instead of asking her to please return to her own den of despair to finish her task, I find myself yelling at her about why she can't just do as she's told the first frickin' time.

Example: I come home from work on a Saturday morning and find The Man has only crawled out of bed an hour ago and has spent the hour sitting on his ass instead of doing anything useful. Because it's a Saturday. And he works HARD all week. Which I know. Instead of just remembering those two things and accepting that he needs to have a rest once in awhile, I turn into a total asshat and yell about all the things he could have been doing and why the hell weren't they done and why does it feel like I have to do every damn thing around here and ohmygodyou'resuchanasshole!!!!

Yeah. It's become a habit. It has become my default setting. And I don't like it.

I have to say though, it is something I've been working on changing!

We are now 8 days into October and I have yelled at my children twice and never at my husband. I'm so proud of myself.

The spawn think that an alien being has taken their mother and moved in because all of a sudden I am talking rationally to them and dealing with things like a normal human being. The Man? I don't think he's noticed because he's not normally around enough to see the difference.

So there you have it. One bad habit and an effort to change.

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  1. Well done you for making a change! I'm doing one too - trying to get the house less messy. One thing at a time works better than tackling everything at the same time.

  2. This is a lesson I learned when I was teaching. Take a breath, and smile! The earth hasn't stopped turning, and it's only going to make me crankier to holler!

    Next Saturday, come home, sit your butt down next to your handsome husband, and enjoy some conversation (during which you can plan how those chores will get done).

  3. good for you!! & your fam :)

    yelling is a tough habit to break, the only person i ever yell at is my mother.

    i have to consciously try to be more reasonable and understanding with her.

  4. Oh my - those are three examples straight from my life, too. There are days when it is SUCH an effort not to yell. Good for you for working on changing. I need to do the same.

  5. I grew up being yelled at by my Mom. It was her best form of communication but unfortunately I carried it forward into my life. Bad habit.

    Ward really brought it to my attention that I was always yelling at Pinkus by making a joke of it all the time...
    "What is Mom yelling at you for now?"
    "Gee Pinkus, when Mom is gone for a couple days, should I yell at you so you don't miss her?"
    Ward: "So, have you yelled at Pinkus yet today?"
    It was a good approach and really made me more aware of my yelling.
    Pinkus was in shock when I cut back!


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