Monday, October 18, 2010

Deep Impact

Day 1 -- Day 2 -- Day 3 -- Day 4 -- Day 5 -- Day 6


Sometimes it can be very difficult to follow something like these prompts. As I go through the "30 Days of Me", I can find some that are incredibly easy and some that actually make me sit and think for awhile. If you look for long enough, you could probably see the smoke coming out of my ears and my eyes spinning around just from the sheer hard work that thinking requires.

Day 7 is exactly that kind of prompt. I'm supposed to post a picture of someone or something that has had the biggest impact on me.

Um. Wow?!

I suppose that for some of you, choosing that someone or something might be easy. For me, it opened up a million doors of consideration. Should it be a good or a bad impact? Is it better for it to be a someONE or a someTHING? If I choose a person, do I do so at the risk of offending everyone else in my life by not picking them? If I choose a thing, do I look like a bit of a tool? And how do you decide what the biggest impact was? A significant impact to me, might seem just run of the mill to the rest of you.

I considered choosing books and waxing lyrical about the profound effect that they've had on my life and how if I had to live without books, I might have to gouge my eyes out with a hot spoon.

But, we already know about my passion for literature (and the fluffy crap that they like to publish these days). So I abandoned that thought.

I thought about telling you all about my love of travel and how living all over the world has had such an amazing impact on my life - from meeting new people, to learning about new cultures, travel is amazing.

In the end though, I decided that this is what has had the biggest impact by FAR on my life to this point:

Cheesy. I know. But true. The fruit of my loins, the spawn, the ones I call the life suckers - my beautiful children.

From the moment that my daughter was born over 8 years ago and my son two years later, I have learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of.

I am capable of loving more than I ever thought possible. My heart grew a hundred fold with each of the kids and with everything they do, it grows more.

I am capable of handling more than I would care to but again, more than I ever thought I could. Watching your child struggle for breath in the hospital, or watching them drift in and out of consciousness is a real test of your strength. Thankfully I have never had to deal with anything major, like some of you, and I pray I never will....but I am happy to know that I can deal with more than I ever thought.

I have also discovered how incapable I am of dealing with some things.

I am not able to sit idly by and watch anyone purposely hurt my children.

I can't bear to see my children hurt for any reason. Skinned knee, hurt feelings, illness - it all makes my heart hurt with the pain of a thousand arrows.

I am finding it increasingly hard to deal with the fact that eventually they will not need me anymore. As they get older and more independent, I realise that there will come a day when they leave me behind to begin a life of their own. With every birthday, I shed a few more tears.

So there you have it. I can't think of any other thing that has had quite the impact on my life that those two have had. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  1. Awww Maggie! xxx

    I've never felt love - that deep, unswerving love that will never end, even in death - that I have since I became a mother.

    I also learnt to belly-laugh again. I also learnt that it's OK to enjoy SpongeBob and revisit Tom & Jerry!

  2. It's something that's very hard to explain to people who don't have much your whole world changes, once they are born. I'd say every parent would answer this question the same way, if they were being truthful.

  3. What a lovely post, Maggie. I never knew what love was until I held my first baby in my arms the first time.

  4. Lovely and eloquent, Maggie. It's amazing what wells of strength we can find when we need them, isn't it?

  5. Great post! I think the same is true for me, I have learned to take on and balance more than I ever thought possible. Your kids are adorable (and so big!).


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